Choosing Joy as Resistance: A Queer Parent’s Guide to Thriving in Uncertain Times
As a queer person, parent of a transgender child, and social worker, the news of the outcome of the presidential election hit me like a gut punch. It wasn’t just the political implications that hurt, it was the realization of how the promises of this new administration could upend the lives of LGBTQ+ people across the nation. The trans community, in particular, faces threats that are both relentless and deeply personal. Policies designed to undermine our basic rights and dignity are not just legislative decisions; they are attacks on the fabric of who we are.
Even here in Colorado, where some important pro-LGBTQ+ legislation passed this election cycle, it’s hard to feel entirely safe. Colorado has often been a refuge, a state that fights for progressive values and equality. But the national climate makes it clear that even our hard-won victories could be challenged. Rights that felt secure a year ago, like access to gender-affirming healthcare or protections for LGBTQ+ youth in schools, now seem precarious. It’s a stark reminder that queer and trans people must constantly live in a state of vigilance.
Yet, in this moment of grief and uncertainty, I am finding clarity. The best form of resistance, the most radical and beautiful thing we can do, is to continue finding queer and trans joy. This is not a denial of reality. It is a deliberate act of resistance.
For marginalized communities, joy is an act of defiance. Systems of oppression thrive on making us feel powerless and hopeless. They want us to live in fear, to shrink ourselves, to hide. But when we dance at pride, laugh with our chosen families, and celebrate our identities unapologetically, we reject the narrative that we are broken or less than. Joy reminds us that we are whole, beautiful, and deserving of every good thing.
As the parent of a transgender child, joy is a promise I make every day. It’s in the small moments, like seeing my child confidently wear an outfit that affirms their identity or hearing them tell me about a new friend at school who accepts them for who they are. These are victories that deserve to be celebrated, especially when the world seems intent on invalidating their existence.
Joy is not passive...it is active, intentional, and communal. Here are some ways I am committing to joy in the weeks and months ahead:
1. Creating Queer Spaces: Whether it’s a potluck with queer friends, a family game night, or a
community support group, queer spaces give us the chance to be ourselves without fear. For
trans youth, these spaces are particularly critical. They serve as reminders that they are not
alone, even when the world feels hostile.
2. Honoring Queer and Trans Histories: Knowing where we come from is a source of power. I am
making it a priority to read books, watch documentaries, and share stories of queer and trans
resilience with my children and my community. These stories remind us that we stand on the
shoulders of giants who fought for joy and liberation.
3. Advocating for Affirming Policies: While joy is a personal act, it is also political. I will continue to advocate for policies that protect LGBTQ+ youth, ensure access to gender-affirming care, and
promote inclusivity in schools and workplaces. Advocacy is exhausting, but it’s fueled by the
vision of a better future.
The path ahead will not be easy. There will be more battles to fight, more heartbreak to endure, and more moments when it feels like too much. But I believe in the power of the queer and trans
community. I see it in the way my child navigates the world with courage. I see it in the friends and
colleagues who keep showing up, who refuse to give in to despair.
Finding queer and trans joy is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving. It’s about claiming our right to happiness, community, and love in a world that often denies us those things. So, as we move forward, let’s commit to joy as our resistance. Let’s dance, laugh, celebrate, and build a world where our light shines so brightly that no amount of hate can extinguish it.
Because when we choose joy, we choose life, and that is the most powerful resistance of all.
- Heather C.
(They/Them)
